I really broke the spell - I started to go to my atelier recently. I have this space since September and I didn't really use it too much. At the beginning I just didn't have time, then I thought... oh, I HAVE to go to my atelier... and it was somehow hard to make the move. Now however, I have decided to paint a painting for Jacek for his birthday. So I HAD to go there... and I did, I did! The spell is broken! I really consider myself lucky - however bad it is, however shitty I feel, I can always just draw, or paint and then I really feel good. That feeling - the release of all the thoughts - inside-outside - putting them on canvas and then that feeling of that strange "satisfaction"... at least I have something that ALWAYS makes me feel better.Jacek as King of Africa. Just the way he wanted.
In the recent months, as I had all these sad adventures like loosing my job (which I loved) I was upset, so I took time off, mentally, and now I am back! Even more - while painting I am MORE back! I really don't need any happy pills, that is such a luck.
(3rd painting of the "Monkeys" series)
I don't care if this painting is politically incorrect... it is not.
Oh, and it is also good to have a muse... a male one as well.