Against the wind

So I am alive, though it has been a while since I haven't been writing here. It was due to some unexpected and not so good experiences I have had in the beginning of this year. But I am back. It has been difficult, but I have managed to go through a concentrated string of events that have left some trails on my soul (and body).

One of the things I really like is when the birds are flying against the wind, especially when the wind is strong so they actually stay in one place, not really flying... trying hard to go against the powerful force of nature. And for a while they just stay there, in the air, waving the wings and nothing happens, they don't move a bit. Until the wind gets weaker or it changes the stream... so the birds can continue to fly. But the best moment is when the birds are just there...

This photo was taken by my boss, my Danish boss, who is a wind energy pioneer and actually takes great pictures. I work at the Folkecenter for Renewable Energy (www.folkecenter.net).

Am I Berlin?

Why did I agree to take part in the "Be Berlin. Berlin Dein Gesicht" project? Well, there are 2 reasons. First of all - I was invited. So I didn't say "no". Second - as a Polish princess - I am very happy to be on the top... of the Siegesaule. Imagine, a Polish woman (wearing a diadem) on the main Berlin monument? How could I reject such an opportunity? Ok, I am among 200 other Berliners, but still! Now the polish princessdom can be officially registered. Finally!

Last Wednesday there was a ceremony - an inauguration of the project - large size photos of 200 chosen Berliners were displayed at the Siegesaule. I was there. The event itself was a bit boring, it was raining and nobody told us what to do, so I had my own fun. At some point I have noticed that people are taking photos with one woman, well dressed, seemed important. So out of boredom I thought: ok, me too. So there I have a picture of me (I didn't wear the diadem, since it is not waterproof and it was raining) with this woman that I have no idea who she is. If any of you, my dear Readers, knows her, please let me know. Till then I am completely blank on that. But at least there was some fun, since I consider the whole project... well. No, no comment on that.

The mysterious woman and me.

The best artwork

Once my Dad said to me, that when whatever crap piece of art is titled "motherhood" it is perceived as great artwork. He based his statement on observations, I guess. He is an artist (a conceptual artist). I have never made an artwork with that title, but after my recent life changing experience I can say that motherhood as such is a preliminary state of actually creating a great "artwork"...

Missed Louise

I haven't been following news recently. I missed the embarrassing Smolensk airplane crash, I missed oil spill, I missed flood in Poland as well as the death of Louise Bourgeois. I have learnt about it today. Sad. Again, part of the era has ended, an icon has left us. And I remember as I went to see her back then in 2008 (read my post about it in September 2008) and already then she was so fragile like a porcelain doll. One of the biggest FEMALE artists is not here anymore. What a waste. Saying banal but true: so is life.

By LB, NYC 2008

The Göttingen experience

Well, it has been quite a long time since I wrote here. In the meantime I've got a baby. Maybe that explains my silence a bit.

However I am still here.

And there are more news. This weekend we went to Göttingen to the "Brettspielautorentreffen" - in English: board game authors' convention.

Why? Because we have developed a board game, we have made a prototype, and we wanted to present it there - not to mention to sell it, be rich - finally - and return to Berlin with a private airplane. It didn't work out like we wanted, but it was still interesting.

Our game, "Ambulance", was unfortunately too drastic for german publishers. An ambulance + a hospital + an accident + victims: (for example) a child + red color = is apparently a no go in german family board games.

Seems they are very careful when it comes to subjects of games. There are for example no war games, not to mention 2. World war games. We have learned from the "boardgamegeek" geek that in the US the market is maybe not so dominated by large board games companies but there are more smaller companies which are more open to "difficult" subjects. Who would expect?

As the professionals (board game companies) were not so interested in our game we have found out that people actually like our game. Not only adults but children. For children both accidents and red color were not so dramatic as for adult game publishers. Interesting again!

So we will not give up, we will continue to promote our game, moreover we will (probably) continue on to develop games. It is such a fun!

Es herrscht Dauerfrost

Plants on my balcony trapped in permafrost...

Since few months my favourite expression in German is "Es herrscht Dauerfrost". Translated into English should be... "permafrost prevails". Obviously with this winter that we have - this makes sense. I wonder when will this winter end and what do the "global warming" fans say about that. I myself believe (if it is a matter of belief) in global warming, by whatever caused (humans or not). Although this winter made me reconsider my beliefs...

But will this winter ever end? It is frustrating a bit now, we didn't have such winter in years. One should actually say "es herrscht Dauerfrust" (that would mean: "perma(nent) frust(ration) prevails").

But there are also positive things about the permafrost... like the frost images on windows. At least something.

Berlin in Blueprint

For those of you who know the English design and architecture magazine - "Blueprint"...
In the newest October issue there is a big section about Berlin. And for those of you who know me, you can search for this bit...

Social workers - WAMIB part I

Just for you to know: WAMIB (= What annoys me in Berlin)

In the same building where I have my atelier, there is one of those typical Berlin social workers' organisation, I don't really know what they do there, but I know one thing - they don't do too much, apart from sitting in the yard, smoking and talking. Is that what they are paid for? Typical Berlin! There is so much money flowing to all those "social" projects in Berlin, I know, I used to work in one and I have seen with my very eyes all that money washed and whatever dodgy businesses took place there. Of course, social projects are important, they help people to make their living, help junkies to quit whetever they take, help ex-junkies to start new lives, fine. This all sounds (in theory) great and "good". But the reality is that I see and hear all those people talking bullshit everyday, for hours. And maybe it is not my business, but what I found really annoying was that as I parked my bike in the yard, walked by a group of those "hardworking" social workers, who were just busy smoking and talking, and said "hallo!" - they did not even answer me! None of them! Not even a sigh (that would do it). Is that too much to expect? Is that too hard? Is that too much work?

Vienna situation

The Curators & Mr Wagner in Vienna
So we did go to Vienna and we performed (we: The Curators & Thomas Wagner). And nobody threw us out, nobody beat us, actually people liked our SENSOR performance.

Ok, art crowd is more open to strange sound events than real music fans, and second - looking historically - Vienna is the source of action painting and wild music. I was also overwhelmed by the MAK space - the hall was really amazing.

Soundcheck
Besides, the MAK flat where some of the artists lived, and we had a chance to have a drink and a photo session in a bathtub was really posh! I advise everybody to become a MAK artist and stay there at least for few days.

In the bathtub...
On that (big) evening there were different polish and austrian artists perfoming. But I guess we all liked the austrian Go Go Girls! Real ones! Although they did not perform any strip-tease...

A Go Go Girl...

Tonight's painting

So I am painting. Today I have just finished a painting for friends, who get married today and In 15 minutes we go to their wedding party... I know they like POP and Warhol... and in any case, if they will not like this painting, they might paint it over, and have a canvas for free. We will see. The party will hopefully be cool! Ok, I leave my computer now and go to the wedding party... ciao!

Broken Spell

I really broke the spell - I started to go to my atelier recently. I have this space since September and I didn't really use it too much. At the beginning I just didn't have time, then I thought... oh, I HAVE to go to my atelier... and it was somehow hard to make the move. Now however, I have decided to paint a painting for Jacek for his birthday. So I HAD to go there... and I did, I did! The spell is broken! I really consider myself lucky - however bad it is, however shitty I feel, I can always just draw, or paint and then I really feel good. That feeling - the release of all the thoughts - inside-outside - putting them on canvas and then that feeling of that strange "satisfaction"... at least I have something that ALWAYS makes me feel better.
In the recent months, as I had all these sad adventures like loosing my job (which I loved) I was upset, so I took time off, mentally, and now I am back! Even more - while painting I am MORE back! I really don't need any happy pills, that is such a luck.

Jacek as King of Africa. Just the way he wanted.
(3rd painting of the "Monkeys" series)
I don't care if this painting is politically incorrect... it is not.
Oh, and it is also good to have a muse... a male one as well.